It’s been literal ages since I’ve last written here (though, to be honest, I’m not sure what the actual definition of an ‘age’ is, so it could be non-literal ages). Anyhow. It’s been quite a while. But I’m back for today at least, and maybe next week–or maybe not for another year. Who knows? Such is the beauty of my wild and free life. (Note: my idea of “wild and free” includes, ideally, the option to be in bed by 9:30 P.M. each night. So yeah. Pretty wild, amiright?)
To be honest, I’m not exactly sure why I am writing today, or if I really should be at all. This little blog was my outlet when I went away to college four years ago man am I old or what? and I’ve grown up just a bit since then; if I really want to do grown-up blogging, this isn’t really the place, with its awkward archived stories that are probably only funny to me anymore. But I’m not going to start a whole new blog when, in reality, today’s writerly mood may be a very brief whim, so instead I’m juxtaposing my newer, (slightly) more sober thoughts on top of a foundation of silly holidays and stories from the library. There’s probably a metaphor for life in there somewhere but I’m not that grown up that I care to flesh it out. You can be the thought-provokingly analytical one if you want.
(One thing hasn’t changed, at least: my inability to flesh out one coherent thought without rabbit trailing down several other more nonsensical thoughts, all included in the same smorgasbord of an over-comma-ed sentence.)
Things that have changed:
- My glasses prescription. I’m squinting at this computer screen and that’s probably a sign I need a check-up, hmm?
- My marital status. Well, that’s changed from what it was at the beginning of this blog, though not since I last wrote. We’re coming up on our second anniversary already–but you probably don’t want to hear my philosophical thoughts on a theme of “my, how fast time flies!”
- My home. When I started writing, I was a girl from St. Louis going to school in West Virginia, and now I’m a girl from who knows where, really, settled down in North Carolina for the foreseeable future.
- My taste in food. Y’all. I like cabbage. This was a small revelation to me recently and I just wanted to share.
- My accent. I’ve started unconsciously imitating my sweet husband’s pronunciation of “violin” and “child” (VAAAAH-lin and chAAAAAHld, respectively). Do I despise myself for it? Yes, yes I do. I need a cleanse in the good old old midwest, please. Then I can say things like “let’s have a little bit of lunch!” and “who’s that pulling up onto the yard?” and “oh fer sure” again.
- My job. Four years ago, I was a college student/library assistant/fast food worker, and now I’ve become a pastor’s wife/nearly-full-time piano (and violin) teacher, with a dash of nannying thrown in for good measure. I stuck my toe in the direct selling business recently, too, but turns out my toes don’t like that stuff. (Sorry, person under whom I signed up. You’re welcome, all y’all facebook friends who are relived to NOT have another person begging you to buy their life-changing products.)
So. Why exactly am I writing again, when the internet has been merrily spinning on without me for a full year? I can’t tell you, really. I’ve just got a writing itch recently; I suppose it’s rather selfish: my thoughts are not exactly wise enough that I need to share them with the world at large. But sometimes, there are just things I want to say, and facebook doesn’t seem to be the place to compose drawn-out, rabbit-trailing essays. Maybe a true sign of maturity would be peacefully keeping my thoughts to myself, so there you go–I still am the little midwestern girl who felt the need to start a college blog four years ago.
The beautiful thing about the internet, of course, is that no one is obliged to read my pretentious ramblings, so my need to SPEAK MY MIND!!!! and SHARE MY WISDOM!!! can be sated without actually inconveniencing anyone at all. Simply leave here and head to an truly grown-up blog, or Pinterest, or an actual printed book (gasps of surprise are heard throughout the room!) and you will no longer have to deal with my introspection, poorly timed jokes, and miserable use of commas. For those of you who do take the time to read all the way through this, though–firstly, thank you: your dedication and perseverance are truly admirable; and secondly–no really why are you still reading this?; and thirdly–I hope that maybe, just maybe, someday I can say something that will be just a little bit encouraging to your heart. I can’t pretend that I’ll ever write anything truly wise or new, but I’d like to share what God is gently and patiently teaching me. You who are certified Real Adults ™ may quietly chuckle to yourself while sagely shaking your head. “What a youngster!” I hear you saying in the future. “She thinks she’s getting so grown-up and she’s really only displaying her ignorance!” And, of course, future hypothetical you is right–four years from today maybe I’ll feel the same about this post as current me feels about my first posts.
But that’s OK, I think. God designs us to grow and change and go through different seasons. My college season was a good one. I was very young and I had fun and I made good friends and I learned a lot. Now I’m in a different season–I’m still very young, in the grand scheme of things. I still have fun (though not quite the same kind; there’s a certain kind of fun that can only be experienced on a college campus surrounded by fantastic people, so those of you still in college, enjoy it. Wait. Do I have any friends in school anymore? Boy, I am old.) And now God is teaching me new things, and sometimes I need to keep them and ponder them in my heart like Mary, and sometimes I think it’s OK to share them. So I guess that’s why I’m here, though man it took me a lot of words to figure that out. Writing is therapeutic, y’all.
Welcome back to my blog. Though there might not be as many silly stories, I promise I’ll still overuse commas. Because some things never do change.